October 1, 2012
Hello from Bradford!
Am typing this on my phone so forgive me if I lack my usual panache.
So. It has been raining. A lot. It seems to always rain when I come up north. Now I know that can't be true. I know there must have been many times when I have frolicked in the summer sun. But right now, I can't seem to remember them. So most of us are spending our time in our hotel rooms watching the rain it raineth every day.
'Not bad work if you can get it.' I hear you grumble. 'Spending your days watching the telly and playing computer chess' (actually I'm playing football manager but I thought you would be more impressed with chess). Well, I'm not complaining (I am) but when you are in a place where you don't know anyone or anywhere you find yourself spending an awful lot of time in Marks and Spencer's.
Bradford is nice, actually. Everywhere seems small when you have been brought up in London. One can get spoilt. Bit frankly, Bradford can't do much about the weather. And the hotel staff are lovely. The nice rooms and the nice hotel are courtesy of the lovely Ewart James Walters. A man with perhaps the most amazing voice since Barry White.
It is a real skill organising yourself on tour. One I lack. Blame my son (yes, still squeezing that for everything it's worth). The brunette says I really should learn how to organise my life, and then very competently does it for me. Lucky me.
But the job is nearing its end now. There are rumours that it might go on. But when? Where? For how long? Am already starting to say hello to my old friend: fear. When will I work again? Will I work again? How much can nappies and wipes cost? Lots of actors are very good at working at other things besides acting. I am not.
Maybe one of the many directors who say they want to work with me will, you know; work with me! I wonder if other jobs have the curious phenomenon of people saying to you they will give you a job and then just forgetting.
Can you imagine going to an interview and when you get up to leave the interviewer telling you that the job is in the bag and then never calling. Ever.
So I'm starting a campaign: no more fibs! If someone intimates strongly that they are going to give to give you something: then they better give it to you or you are allowed, under the new law to go to their place of work and jump up and down screaming, 'WHY? WHY? WHY???' Spread the word, it's a new era.
A drama teacher once told me that actors should only deal in truth. A hard thing to do. But we should all try. It's time for a revolution! It starts in Bradford! Next stop Salford!
PS: I am available for all kinds of work including weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs. Rates negotiable.
Be good. And if you can't be good - I don't know, I have not yet figured that one out.
by Andrew French
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